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We round out our election season conversations with an episode dedicated to our mental wellness. In this episode of Ashley Bryant-Wenz and Angela Gonzalez join Sarah Connatser on the Be the Bridge Podcast for a heartfelt discussion about mental wellness and self-care, particularly in the context of the emotional aftermath of the recent election. They explore the importance of acknowledging grief, the necessity of self-care practices, and the value of creating safe spaces of compassion and empathy. They address the topics of being political and being partisan. You will be encouraged to prioritize your mental health, set boundaries, and remember that you are worthy of care.
Ashley Bryant-Wenz is a Licensed Mental Health Counselor and Qualified Clinical Supervisor who is Trauma Therapy Certified and DBT trained based in Orlando, Florida. Angela Gonzalez is the Founder and Executive Director of The Nurture Place, a nonprofit organization serving the West Orange County community in Central Florida with mental wellness, mental health, and family support services.
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Host & Executive Producer – Latasha Morrison
Producer – Sarah Connatser
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Not all views expressed in this interview reflect the values and beliefs of Latasha Morrison or the Be the Bridge organization.
*this was transcribed by Spotify and has not been checked for errors
0:00
Welcome to.
The Be the Bridge Podcast, Be the Bridge exists to empower people and culture toward racial healing, equity, and reconciliation.
Latasha Morrison founded Be the Bridge in 2016 to foster needed dialogue and brave spaces and to give people the tools to pursue racial justice.
0:22
We provide resources and community to do just that, and this podcast is one of those resources.
You’ll hear interviews hosted by.
Latasha and our team conversations about current events and encouragement for your racial literacy journey.
Thank you for listening, subscribing and engaging in this important work.
0:42
Hello everyone, welcome to the Be the Bridge podcast.
Thank you for tuning in today.
We have a very special conversation for you.
I know it’s something that many in our community are are asking questions about and bringing up.
And so today we are going to have a conversation about mental Wellness and self-care during this season.
1:05
So I want to introduce you to Ashley Bryant Wins and Angela Gonzalez.
I’m going to have them introduce themselves and then we’re going to have a wonderful conversation.
Hello everyone, my name is Ashley Bryant Wins.
I’m a mental health therapist practicing for the last 14 years in the greater Orlando area.
1:26
And my name is Angela Gonzalez.
I am the Executive Director and Founder of The Nurture Place and we provide mental Wellness, mental health and family support services in our community.
Thank you both.
I’m so excited that you are here and grateful that you’re willing to have this conversation with us.
1:43
We are in the post election season and in our community there’s been so many different emotions.
We’ve been hosting some different community Talkback calls where people are able to be in a safe space and share how they are feeling right now and how they are processing these days.
2:04
So we want to acknowledge that there are a wide range of emotions being felt right now.
And I’d just love for you to kind of talk into that, into the space of holding tensions, holding emotions.
Anything you think that would help our community as we are in this season?
2:22
Absolutely.
I agree.
The post election has been wrought with all types of emotions and I think one of the big one of the one that I’ve been seeing across the board is a sense of grief.
A grieving for what was hoped for, grieving for what was lost and really grieving for what is going to be.
2:46
That is a huge weight that I find even on my and myself.
I think for me, the thought of I am a citizen of a country that does not value value me as a woman, as a woman of color and what to do with that has it’s been, it’s been quite heavy for for myself and lots of people, tons of people that I’ve come in contact with both professionally and personally.
3:14
When I think of the tips or recommendations that I have that have been, you know, that I, I immediately, I remember that day waking up just knowing it was going to, I just, I just woke up and knew that I was going to wake up to, to the president of my choice.
3:31
And to know that that wasn’t the, the case.
It was just, it was an overwhelming sensation.
And I remember immediately getting a lot of feedback from, you know, Hey, any recommendations here?
Angela also reached out as well.
And it was at that moment that I realized, OK, one, it’s not me, just me.
3:51
And two, there’s something that can be done and should be done for our mental Wellness in this season and on that day specifically.
So a couple of the recommendations I had for that time, for that day, and I feel like it does kind of carry out.
The first one was to avoid social media.
4:10
Just take a real step back from social media.
Even, you know, I’m, I’m Instagram girl.
I like to scroll on the Instagram and I can scroll and be fine.
And then something will pop up and whoa, I wasn’t ready.
4:26
I wasn’t ready.
And so taking care with that, just eject yourself from social media.
Make minimize it as much as you can because it is very triggering and we don’t need to welcome any additional triggers at this time.
The second one recommendation that I had out and when I tell you I’m, I put it out to like my sorority groups, my chat groups, my family friends, like I just started sending it out.
4:50
Any, any anyone who could I thought could help and I’d recommend it send it out to others as well.
My second recommendation was self-care, whatever that looks like for you and for me, that’s my self-care.
Look like starting Christmas very early, so I’m watching the Christmas movies.
5:07
I’ve been to Hobby Lobby at least three times and I’m listening to Christmas music and anyone who knows me knows that I don’t.
I give all the seasons and all the holidays.
They’re they’re due justice.
But it was Nope.
So that was myself care.
And then the third and final.
5:23
So be intentional about yourself.
Care, really take care of yourself in this season, whatever that looks like.
And my third recommendation was connect to what your your faith is, connect to what your spirituality, you know, pours into you.
I, for me, I had to remind myself that I don’t serve a Democratic Party.
5:42
I don’t serve a government.
I, I serve a God who has never left me and will never left me, leave me even in pain, in times of pain and sorrow.
And so whatever your, your faith is, whatever your spiritual cup, however you feel, fill that up.
That is what I recommend turning to.
5:58
Don’t get fixated on what is happening in our nation.
What is what all, all the things that are possibly going to happen.
It is that’s not to say to minimize or ignore it, but make sure you’re not filling your cup up with that.
Make sure you’re filling it up with what’s what is spiritually binding, spiritually grounding for you.
6:15
So those are my recommendations as far as tips to getting through this, the very tip of it of getting through this season.
I love that Ashley.
I think it’s such a great recommendation.
Yes and that day I was reaching out to Ashley because some I was going through all the feelings and all the emotions of the results and what how it impacts our community.
6:38
One of the things that I’ve been thinking about throughout and I did, I have been off of social media since then and it’s been really, really good.
But one of the recommendations that I personally want to encourage everyone to be aware of is that because we are dealing with grief, it is OK to go through the grieving process and allow ourselves to feel the anger and the denial and the sadness and all the things that come with grief.
7:08
And, and the thing with grief in loss is that it takes different amount of times for different people.
So for some of us, it may be a couple of weeks, for some of us it may be longer.
But it’s okay to feel it really, really intense because it’s a sense of justice or injustice.
7:26
However, you see that that we need to be dealing with our emotions and so it is OK to feel those things.
It’s there’s nothing wrong with that feeling the anger, right?
And I think God is intentional about that, like he created us in his image and with emotions and that it’s OK.
7:48
The second thought that I had as I was thinking about grieving and loss is that the IT is important for us to have safe spaces.
It is important for us to have safe spaces with friends and people that really understand because there are spaces where as well intended.
8:09
And as much as people love us and as much as as much as they want to understand, they may not ever understand right, The grief and the trauma that we are experiencing.
And so it is important to be with people like minded that are thinking about us, that are being intentional about holding space for the reality of the feelings that we’re and emotions that we’re experiencing at the moment.
8:35
So those are the two things that I want to encourage people to be OK with the feelings that you’re having, be OK with the anger and the sadness and the deep sadness.
I feel.
I’m feeling all the emotions, but I feel very, very, I don’t even know how to say it, but I feel very connected to the community and I feel very connected to our families.
9:00
And in the, in the business or in the, in our nonprofit, we are dealing with people.
It’s not, you know, the, the, these are humans that need to, that we need to extend our compassion and our empathy and we need to be there for them.
9:16
And so we need to collaborate and we need to partner with one another to intentionally reach out to people, create the safe spaces.
Not everyone has a safe space.
Not every church has a is a safe church.
Not every organization is a is a safe organization is organization.
9:34
And even we can even say sometimes that not every family is a is a safe family.
So finding those safe spaces for us to connect and some there’s something magical and something healing about sharing with one another, right?
9:51
Sharing in that grief.
It’s there’s something wonderful that God created us as humans that are connected to one another.
That was not a coincidence.
We need to be connected to him and we need to be connected to one another in order for us to know that there is healing.
10:09
Healing happens in connection.
So those are, that’s the thoughts that I was having and just kind of giving people the opportunity and the OK to experience all the feelings that they’re feeling.
That’s so good.
Both of you brought up such good and, and, and helpful points.
10:27
And you also both said something that I want to address because we’ve gotten some, some pushback that we are being political and being partisan.
And so you both said something based on that that I wanted to address.
10:43
Angela, you talked about being in the work of, of people and, and, and that’s what politics is.
It is working with people and working for people, figuring out the best way to help people flourish.
And so politics isn’t a bad thing.
10:59
It’s not a negative thing that be the bridge.
We’re about people.
Our mission is that we exist to empower people and culture toward racial healing, equity and reconciliation.
And so that also made me think of what you talked about, Ashley, about not serving a Democratic Party.
11:17
And so that kind of addresses the partisan thing in that there are a lot of emotions and there is a lot of grief that people are caring.
And it’s not just because a Republican one, it’s because of who has embodied that seat and and what is being uplifted in that party right now.
11:43
It’s because of the violent talk.
And we know that violent talk doesn’t just stop at talk, it leads to action.
It’s because of the dehumanization.
And in the same way, we know that when you’re able to dehumanize people in the way that you talk, that leads to dehumanization in your policies.
12:03
And so I just wanted to take a second to address that because we’ve gotten a lot of a lot of comments about about being political and then also being partisan.
And I just wanted to take a second to say that being political isn’t a bad thing.
It’s actually good because it means we’re we’re focused on people then and, and it’s not and, and we’re not being partisan.
12:27
We’re naming wrongs and we’re seeking to bring about healing and restoration.
And when some somebody or a group of people are working in complete opposite of that, we have to say something.
And then when that is uplifted, we have to feel the grief because it’s completely against what we see.
12:49
Right.
This, this goes far beyond, far beyond this party or that party talking about our way of life.
We’re talking about how my life is going to be impacted versus how somebody else’s life is going to be impacted.
13:12
That is a big difference.
We’re not talking about some, some, some increase in this taxes or, you know, a bill.
We’re talking about monumental changes in our livelihoods.
That’s, that’s, that goes way beyond a so we can’t just slice it down to, oh, you voted this or you voted that.
13:32
Our, our grieving comes from a, a greater than that.
I’m thinking of the children who are going to be up underneath some of these pilots, the parents.
As a mental health therapist, I, I honest, I, I’m telling you that the what I see coming, what I see coming is it’s tantamount to I, I can’t even verbalize it.
13:54
It’s that scary for me.
It is that rushing for me.
So no, this goes way well beyond.
I don’t.
I think it, I think it honestly minimizes two things, minimizes our emotional awareness, right?
And it minimizes our ability to be human and to to connect and and humble in that.
14:13
That’s to say that this is this is just an election.
No, I’m so sorry.
This this goes well beyond that and we are allowed to to to tap in that.
I think if we were to, Oh well, I don’t know why this election is bothering me so well, it’s because the lives of yourself and just about everyone we know is going to be impacted.
14:32
That’s no I, it is so much more than that.
And I think we do ourselves an injustice to gaslight or to to minimize monumental force of grieving that is sweeping us all day or all over.
Yeah, I totally agree.
14:47
I don’t think, I think especially I’m standing from a nonprofit leader kind of space, right.
So nonprofits have a mission, Be the Bridge has a mission, the nurture place has a mission.
And our mission is people.
15:05
Our mission as humans, as those that follow Jesus, is to love people.
And how can we embody Jesus when people are grieving, whether you, whether you’re one way or another, we need to be embodying Jesus period.
15:24
Because we’re not embodying Democrat party or we’re not embodying the Republican Party, we’re embodying Jesus.
And how can we meet people’s needs when they are going through that?
And I know that from some of our therapists that I’ve heard from a few of the, our therapists that were sharing with me that people are coming into therapy with that grief.
15:49
That is not one and it’s not 2, but it’s several people that are just questioning and it’s they’re, they’re grieving.
They’re, they don’t understand all the emotions.
And I think it’s that belonging peace for us at the Nurture Place.
16:04
And, and how, how we see thing, how we see things and how we see our community is that everyone needs to belong.
Everyone needs to belong somewhere.
And it’s not, and we all belong.
And so when one person is not well, we are not all well.
16:20
When we are, when one person heals, then and, and there’s a missing piece of the healing journey, like we all need to be in the healing journey.
It’s not US versus them.
It’s not we’re wanting to erase the margins because we all are made in the image of God, right?
16:39
We’re in we’re the imago de like we, we made, we were made in his image, not just me or not just group of people, but we are all.
And so when we are looking at our neighbor and we’re loving our neighbor and they’re hurting, I may not understand it, but I can have compassion and empathy for them.
17:01
I may not understand what they’re going through, but I may.
But I can have empathy and compassion to love on them, to sit with them, to not add to the pain and trying to rationalize because we are dealing with lots of different humans who have experienced trauma, who have experienced adversity.
17:25
And this could be another, another added piece to that trauma and another added piece to that adversity.
And maybe there there’s people that their window of tolerance is just much smaller because of all the suffering that we that they have encountered.
17:43
And so one of the things that I was sharing with a group of friends this week is that we are in we as we embody Jesus and some.
And as we walk on our walk with the Lord, we all experience suffering and joy at the same time.
All of us, and maybe at a different times, but we all do.
18:02
And so we ought to be those compassionate people that are meeting the suffering of others.
Well said.
Yeah, yeah, I it is hard to explain.
You know, sometimes I think we all sit in a hard space, whether you’re, you know, whatever political party you affiliate with or maybe you don’t affiliate with a political party because there’s people out there that don’t.
18:29
But that’s not the point.
This is not the point.
The point is that we are, we need to meet people where they are, that we need to be compassionate.
We need to love people fully and unconditionally.
And it doesn’t mean that we, you know, we need to be the light that stops that language of dehumanization and demonization.
18:54
And that is a very dangerous language that that can hurt us, that can hurt other people.
It might not hurt me, but it’s hurting other people.
So we are here to advocate for people, to love people, to meet them and to know and to let them know that they’re they belong because because of the faith that we follow, they belong absolutely.
19:21
Yes, and in in the conversation of having compassion, being able to have compassion for ourselves as well through all of this I.
Was just about to.
Say, and I feel like that wraps back around to what you were talking about, Ashley, about self-care.
Sometimes self-care is so hard.
19:37
If we’re in survival mode, I don’t know necessarily how we get there.
Great question.
Yeah.
Can we do you mind talking just just briefly about what self-care is, especially because some people have such, you know, heady ideas about it or it seems like it’s, it’s not tangible.
19:56
Correct.
I, you know, self-care is new to me.
It’s a self-care.
I just become very adamant about it and a component in my life probably just 2-3 years ago and since then I’ve really.
20:11
Invested in that knowledge, I’ve, I’ve done seminars and workshops on self-care.
And you’re right, there’s a lot of misconceptions.
There’s a lot of misconceptions.
So I need to be by myself or I need to be getting a spa or a massage. self-care could just be not answering the phone when you don’t feel like it.
20:33
That could be self-care. self-care could could be taking some time to, to get to get things done.
So that and, and making that a priority so you’re not anxious or stress moving forward, whatever that.
And, and there when we talk about self-care, I’m hoping we’ll have a chance to get more into what self-care looks like.
20:51
But there are 4 main components of the self-care, the mental, emotional, physical and social.
And all four of them need to be in a cohesive manner so that we are not feeling low in one area and high in the other.
And sometimes that will happen, but we want to be folk or we want to be intentional about meeting what those needs are and what they could be for us.
21:12
Somebody social self-care could be different than somebody elses somebody’d emotional or physical could be way different.
But you need to do that exploration and be intentional about what that looks like.
So when we talk about self-care, the first thing I always say is be intentional.
21:29
Be intentional and do not wait for the opportunity you have to create that opportunity.
I was talking with a young lady on Wednesday during our session and we were talking about herself care and she said, Oh well, I was thinking about getting back into this class or doing this, but I’ll look at take a look at that next week and see what it looks like.
21:49
I said, no, ma’am, no, no, no, let’s let’s pull out the calendar.
Let’s look because once Monday comes that that week is gone, that week is already gone.
But if we start today, Wednesday and know that my self-care is coming Thursday, imagine what that what kind of positivity that can bring.
22:08
Just knowing that I’ve got something coming, that something is going to be for me, being intentional about it, planning it extremely important.
So that’s always my first tip and don’t wait for it to get worse.
I’ve, I’ve worked with a lot of people who are, oh, well, it’s not that bad.
22:24
Ma’am, Sir, it is.
It is.
You haven’t been taking care of yourself.
You haven’t been, you’ve been minimizing yourself.
No, yourself care.
You, you are just as important as the next person.
You are just as important as, as your children, your husband, your spouse.
22:42
You are just as important.
And if your needs aren’t met, the expectation to meet others is just abuse.
In my, in my opinion, don’t do that to yourself.
Honor yourself.
I think what allowed me to really tap into myself care was making realizing what was holding me back from it.
23:00
And it was the thought that I was a burden or that I was not worthy enough or could not make the time enough for my needs.
And when I, when I challenged that thought, when I said to myself, you’re not a burden, you, you, you are.
23:20
So you, you deserve for this care, you deserve to be taken care of just as much as you take care of others.
You deserve to be taken care of.
That was life changing.
That was life changing for me.
So be intentional.
23:35
Recognize what those bird, what those boundaries are, those strongholds, those narratives about what what self-care is, and challenge them.
That’s so good.
I love that.
Yeah, especially as the holidays approach, that being intentional and scheduling right now is like when?
23:54
Because, because next week, you know, when this airs on Tuesday, following week is going to be Thanksgiving.
So it’s like we need to schedule that now.
You need to schedule it now and you need people plan.
I love when people tell me, oh, we’ll just see what happens.
24:09
No, no, no, no, no, no.
That is a recipe for disaster.
It’s OK to say I don’t want to go to everybody’s house this Thanksgiving.
It’s OK and do and make that decision now instead of feeling guilty about it all the way up to the day you eliminate so much guilt when you and shame and all the other host of reasons why you don’t want to do things or why you feel forced to do things when you just make a decision, when you make that decision for you and you don’t make it out of, of fear or frustration.
24:39
You make it out of the knowledge that I deserve to be happy in these moments too.
I deserve to be happy in these moments too.
I told my husband, listen, call up whoever, because Ashley is not cooking.
I’m going to, I’m, I’ll make breakfast.
I want to see wicked and I want to go to target and that’s it.
24:56
And so all those 3 components you can have everything else with my stove is not turning on, but that’s the decision I had to make for myself.
Given the year that, you know, I’ve been experiencing.
I I need it to be intentional about what the rest of the year is going to look like and making that decision for myself with no guilt or no shame is life changing and I highly recommend it for everyone.
25:17
Yes.
So can I ask you?
Yeah.
And you can chime in here too, Angela, can I ask you if you set those boundaries and you have people who push against them and say, well, you know, whatever, whatever they come up with, like, Oh, well, you need to be involved in this.
25:34
Or how can people prepare their hearts to stick with their boundaries?
Great question.
Healthy relationships can handle healthy boundaries.
Healthy relationships can handle healthy boundaries.
So if I am presenting to you my need and and I’m I’m letting you know in a clear, clear tone, voice, and then you are challenging that, then I think it’s OK to say, hey, this is this is kind of a need for me.
26:02
I could you, I just, I just, you don’t need to understand it, but I would.
I am requesting that you respected.
I am requesting that you respect it.
You’re right.
You’re going to get a lot.
You are going to get pushed back.
And how we maintain boundaries is one, don’t make it, don’t make that boundary from a place of fear or anger or aggression because then you have to maintain that energy in order to maintain that boundary.
26:26
If I make a boundary from a place of self Wellness, self-care, conviction, then all I had, all I have to do is maintain that, that energy to maintain that boundary.
So when I’m presenting that boundary, it’s not coming from AI don’t want to do this.
26:42
It’s coming from a, hey, this is what I need and I and I appreciate you understanding and respecting it.
Another thing I recommend doing, this is what I did with a client maybe a couple of months ago because we’re working on her with boundaries.
Go ahead and write up that good text.
Go ahead and write up that good text and sending it earlier is way better than sending it day of because then that means like, oh, you knew you weren’t coming and you know, I’m, I sent it earlier.
27:08
Write up that good text, state it with the I’m so excited.
You always want to get with the sugar.
I’m so excited for you.
I thank you.
Thank you for for involving us at this time.
It’s not going to be something that I can get be involved in for, for, for for personal reasons or this is what I’m meeting at this time.
27:25
And then end it with the thank you for loving me and respecting my choice.
Send and they even copy and paste that to everybody and switch it up.
How you thank you for inviting me or asking me to, to cater this party or or organize this trip.
27:41
But at this time, it’s not.
I’m not in a place where I can do that at this time.
But thank you so much for respecting my choices and decisions.
Send copy and paste it.
That’s my recommendation for when you’re going to get that pushback note to yourself.
One, healthy relationships can have healthy, healthy boundaries.
27:57
I’m making this boundary from a place of self-care and Wellness and go ahead and put state that boundary as early as possible.
Don’t wait till the last minute.
I agree.
I think it’s so necessary and it’s something that takes time to develop.
It’s but we need to practice.
28:14
And so if we don’t practice it, we’re not going to be able to develop better boundaries with people.
So it’s OK for this to be the year that you send that tax and it’s OK for this to be the year that you’re going to practice how to set boundaries from a from a good place, from a place of caring for yourself, say, making sure that you understand that this is good for you and that you and you, your spouse, or if you’re a single person, whoever your nuclear, your immediate family are like everyone, it’s on the same page.
28:50
It’s important to do that.
I think another thing that we’re thinking about us, we’re talking about self-care is the added adding this soul care too.
Like how am I taking care of my soul as well?
And I, you know, we, we are body, mind and soul humans, right?
29:09
We are whole and I think the journey of life is becoming whole and we will not be whole until, you know, we, we go to eternity with, with the Lord, right?
But we are on that journey and so taking care of our soul is such an important thing as well.
29:26
And how do you do that?
Everyone is different.
Same thing with the self-care, self-care, soul care, Everyone is different.
And so find those things that are filling you with the hope of God, filling you with the refreshment of I feel refreshed, I feel at ease, I feel safe, not that I am, but like that safety feeling of emotional safety.
29:51
Where, where can I find that?
Where can I find those happy moments that I’m taking care of me and my immediate family, right?
So that’s my encouragement to everyone.
Like that’s what self self-care is.
And I think you don’t have to spend money.
30:08
You don’t have to go spend like hundreds of dollars to go to the spa and spend a all day out and if you can’t go for it.
But that’s not what it is.
It’s more about the rhythms that we are taking, the rhythms that we are making and setting in our lives to be able to take care of ourselves.
30:28
Because if we don’t take care of ourselves, we cannot take care of others and people who are in ministry and in any type of service, kind of professional therapists and doctors and nurses, and we are giving.
30:45
People, nonprofits, we are giving.
We are always giving.
It’s always about giving, but we cannot give from an empty cup.
So we need to fill that cup with goodness and mercy and the things that we need to make sure that we are, we are also healthy.
31:03
Yeah.
All right.
Well, thank you so much ladies.
Is there anything else you would like to share?
As we know everyone in this community and broadly are are carrying a lot.
We, we had a call with some of the community yesterday and we talked about how we’re collectively carrying a lot of grief, but then individually.
31:25
People are.
Going through a lot.
So it’s not just the collective it it’s also the individual.
So we know that everyone is caring a lot right now and it just feels like too much.
So what would you want to say or, or or leave?
31:41
Any other tips, encouragement, words of wisdom that you would like to share?
I think for me, I just want to share that let’s be gentle with one another and let’s be kind.
And we don’t know what other people are experiencing.
31:59
We need to step, take a step back.
Let’s not assume anything.
Let’s just be gentle with one another.
Let’s be caring for with one another.
Let’s see people for who they are.
And I would say, let’s speak words that are going to build us up and not words that are going to tear us down.
32:21
And it’s important to do that.
It’s important to see people in the community because every single person, every single person in our community belongs.
They are our neighbors.
They are people who are loved by God.
And therefore, I’m going to take a step back and I’m going to extend compassion and I’m going to be kind to that person.
32:43
The more we do that as followers of Jesus, the more beauty we’re going to bring in light we’re going to bring into the community and the more gentleness we are going the way that we speak.
If we speak with gentleness, we teach our kiddos in our groups, you know, the nurture groups, we teach them to be gentle and kind, gentle and kind.
33:05
And that goes for the way that we speak and the way that we act and the things that we do, right?
So that’s my encouragement.
I know it’s like, you know, great second grade gentle.
That’s what we mean one another I.
33:21
Agree.
Absolutely.
I, I, I think my grieve grieving can be very isolating, very isolating.
And in that isolation, we can compound it.
We can it just can really take a whole nother life.
My word of advice, my my prayer is just you’re not alone in it.
33:41
You’re definitely not alone in this.
And for towards what Angela had mentioned earlier about finding that safe space so important.
Yeah, don’t wait.
Do not wait.
Don’t wait for it to get worse.
I, I see, I find people won’t come to therapy or even consider, you know, that healing part of their lives until years after and they’ve had to handle, manage that grief and that wait for so long.
34:09
Don’t wait.
We’re not made to be weighed down.
That is not how he intended us to live.
And we do.
We are able to offer that.
We are able to surrender it, but we have to be bold and courageous in that and we have to step in into it.
So do not wait, do not hold, don’t hold it for so long to for so long between before it becomes unbearable and it’s impacting everything else.
34:31
I’m a therapist who goes to therapy.
I got it.
I’ve seen my therapist today at 2:00.
So that is me recognizing that Oh no, this is getting heavy.
I, I am feeling I and I don’t have to hold it.
And that’s another thing.
Don’t ever see a therapist who doesn’t see a therapist because you need to know two things.
34:51
One, that they’re, that they’ve had, they’re handling their stuff.
And two, that they know what it’s like to be on that side.
So I, I highly recommend just seeking those seeking the supports.
Don’t wait.
You don’t have to hold it.
You’re not meant to.
35:07
And there are so many open organizations.
There’s so many safe spaces out here, but we got to be bold enough to to seek them out and step into them.
Yeah, yeah, so good.
If somebody doesn’t know where to start in finding a therapist, how would you direct them?
35:23
Great question.
You know, the Internet is phenomenal.
I and there are so many wonderful platforms.
If you wanted to go through your insurance, I would recommend going, going going to your insurance asking for hey, who’s in my area and you’ll get a list of what providers are in your area.
35:45
And from there you could go and research and say, OK, I like what this is what they’re providing.
I like with that compare, compare and contrast.
I say be very picky when you’re looking for a therapist.
It is your time, your experience.
36:01
You deserve for it to be what it look what what you want it to be for people who you know, I ask get that question a lot.
I’m looking for a therapist.
And if I don’t take their insurance or if I’m not able available, I’ll ask for that list from the insurance and I’ll go look down that list and ask and see what I think would be good fits.
36:17
And I’ll give you that those three that I think it would be great.
There’s also word of mouth.
You know, it’s kind of, you know, it’s, you know, to be at at lunch, like, Hey, who’s your therapist?
Or is anybody, you know, what therapist are you?
But it’s one of those open conversations to say, Hey, does anybody know of a good therapist?
36:37
It’s not the, you know, it’s not the most common thing to talk about a table, but it needs to be.
We need to be sharing these resources.
Like I know you’ve been supported by somebody and you’ve had a great experience.
Please send that on.
So I think going through your insurance, it’s one aspect, going serving what’s in your local area on Google and the Internet, but also doing that word of mouth.
36:58
I think it’s a great way of collecting and being able to decide what what relationship therapy the relationship is going to work for you.
And can I say another thing?
I hear a lot of people say, oh, I tried therapy and I just, I, it didn’t work or whatever.
And I think The thing is that you need to find the therapist that fits for you.
37:17
It’s kind of like your doctor.
It’s kind of like other, you know, the people that you seek services from.
It has to be the right fit for you.
So don’t give up.
There are amazing therapists out there and you can find it.
So, word of mouth, yes, Ashley’s absolutely right.
37:34
That’s so good.
You’re I I just had two clients this week.
No, today, this morning you said you’re my 4th therapist.
You’re my 8th therapist and I’m just, I’m heartbroken that they had to go through that.
But I know that if they’re standing in front of me, I don’t believe in coincidences.
37:49
I believe in design.
So if they’re sitting in front of me, then that means there’s a purpose that’s supposed to be happening.
Seeds are going to be planted.
Things are going to be uprooted.
But it does sometimes it does take time to get to that one and know that you are not failing by going to another one.
38:05
You’re seeking your, you’re meeting your need.
And you’re saying that I am worthy enough.
I, I, I deserve to have this of the good experience that I need.
So you’re right.
Don’t stop, don’t stop.
There’s too many of us out here to not to not find that connection.
Yeah, so good, so good.
38:21
Thank you ladies.
Thank you, thank you for having us.
We are so blessed by you, but also by Be the Bridge.
Do you have teachers?
Yes, you can.
You can find [email protected].
38:39
You can give at bethebridge.com.
You can find a community group, find the Academy, find all of our training resources.
You will find it all there.
So we are so thankful for you, Ashley and Angela for supporting our community in this way.
It’s such a need.
38:54
And so thank you so much.
Thank you be the Bridge community for listening today.
I am Sarah, podcast producer and marketing Communications Manager at Be the Bridge.
And on behalf of Be the Bridge, Latasha Morrison, and all of our team, thank you so much.
39:15
Thanks for listening to the Be the Bridge Podcast.
To find out more about Be the Bridge and what we offer, visit bethebridge.com.
Partner with us in this work at bethebridge.com/give.
Connect with us on social media, then remember you are not alone in your pursuit of righteousness and justice.
39:35
Latasha Morrison is the executive producer, Sarah Connatser is the producer, and transcripts are done by a wonderful team of volunteers.
Thanks for listening.
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